The six crushes you get in freshman year. by Carlos Tabunda

Hello freshmen. I welcome you all to the first of many years you’re about to spend in this awesome school. Many people are going to tell you how to spend your first year. Hang out in zen garden, bond with your block; join orgs. Many will talk about the core classes you will take and the future profs to look out for. Others will talk about another important expect of college life -- the drama. If you went through high school as a monk or nun then I’m sorry to say that is not happening here (unless you are truly an asexual being.) You are bound to have at least one crush here in college, especially in freshman year where everything is supposed to be safe and new and you want  to explore. In fact most of you won’t have just one crush but many, many crushes. These crushes can range from the happy crush to the serious infatuation kind. You’ll get crushes everywhere and in many different ways. I am here to lead you through the six most basic crush types here in the Ateneo De Manila University.

THE BLOCKMATE

All of your TnTs and upperclassmen will tell you one thing about blocks. “Never fall for a blockmate.” Most of you will not listen. I mean why wouldn’t you fall for a blockmate? This is a new and strange environment. A blockmate is the safest choice after all.

Now let me be the voice of reason. Personally I advise against falling for a blockmate. It creates unnecessary drama, awkwardness and if a break-up happens the splitting of the block. On the other hand if the feeling is mutual, a block relationship might work. I have two blockmates who are together and it’s not as awkward as most people think. You’re going to spend the next few years with these people, especially in FA courses, so it’s to be expected you’ll attached.

What happens if you break-up? Won’t that make it awkward? Let me ask you something: Are you really going to get into a relationship, with a blockmate, expecting to break-up? If you think that the relationship will end badly and that you don’t want that then don’t pursue it.

So long block relationships? Risky but okay as long as you’re sure what you’re getting into. Remember that a relationship is commitment. Don’t get into one for the sake of it. Get out there more, be active in orgs; meet new people. Don’t restrict yourself to just blockmates.

THE ENLIT CLASSMATE

As you’re about to realize, your EnLit classmate will be just like your block for freshman year. There are some differences of course. First, a lot of your classmates will come from different schools. You’ll also feel less guilty when daydreaming about how attractive they may or may not be. Moreover, since you pretty much dissolve after a year the drama is significantly less. But remember that the closeness of an EnLit class is dependent on the prof and the people that jive together so be careful.

One of the major disadvantages to the EnLit classmate crush is group projects. Have you ever tried writing a memoir or feature article or being a lead in a play as your crush watches and judges you? Awkward. It’s a great bonus if you’re a suave speaker who can look cool while talking about current events about nation building. Just make sure to never debate with your crush. Ever. You will lose horribly or feel very bad about winning.

My advice for the EnLit classmate is: go lang. Worst case scenario is that you get rejected. But anyway, you move on because you might not even see other again. This doesn’t count of course if this person is your EnLit classmate AND your blockmate. Do you really want to make things twice as awkward?

THE ORGMATE

Okay, this is your org. Since you’re a freshie it’s probably the third, fourth or fifth you’ve joined. This is the one you’re active in though. It’s the one that passed the application (if there was an app process) and wowed you at the GA. This is gonna be your org. You join a committee, meet the peeps and you join projects and meet new people.

There’s one special person in particular. One who likes the org as much as you do and seems to share so much in common with you. You are now super active in this org. You try as much as possible to see this person through this org. Eventually you start spending time together outside of this org. Then bam, momoling!

Just kidding. Let me be the first to say that seminars = drinkspartymomolstuffhappens. In terms of crushes orgmates have the smallest chance of exploding in your face. Whether or not you pursue this crush there are many opportunities do to whatever you want. Be active in orgs kids, stuff happens, you might even get lucky. (or make a huge mistake but that’s not another story) Although if your org crush, EnLit crush and block crush are the same person then you have a problem.

THAT PERSON YOU KNOW BUT HAVEN’T MET YET

They’re in your orgs, you go to the same events and you’ve got like a hundred or so mutual friends but you’ve never had a single conversation with this person. There will be many cases like this all throughout your college life. All these people you’ve only heard of through stories. I know of a case of two people who are in an org CB together but have never been formally introduced.

In some cases this person becomes so interesting yet so mysterious they become a sort-of-crush thing. I mean you really never get to know this person but you just really want to for some reason. These crushes normally aren’t serious and are formed more out of a desire to get to know this person rather than have intimate relations with.

This strange obsession might get weird like you’ll start stalking them and asking about them through mutual friends. It is not that weird. A lot of people will have to go through this.  Although, you should probably worry when you start spending too long on their Bora pics.

THE UPPERCLASSMAN

Yikes. Issue to. The circumstances of how you met this person be it coursemate, org mate or someone you knew way back is unimportant. What’s important is that they’re experienced and they always sound like they know what they’re talking about. (Although to be fair they usually do.) Coursemates are always there to teach you about the curriculum and org mates know all the in jokes and people to talk to.

Naturally you’ll be drawn to this powerful authority figure. Before you do anything learn the difference between infatuation and admiration. It might seem like a crush but really you could just really like the way they make art or seem so cool in the org or manage the comprehensive org systems.

If you really wanna go for it then just think first. Upperclassmen always seem cooler or scarier than they actually are. Take them out of the pedestal first. Don’t think of them as an experienced mentor but as a peer. Think of them as a coursemate or org mate or classmate. Think of them as a human being. If you still wanna go for it then have fun. Especially if that upperclassman turns out to be me. Just kidding.

THE PERSON FROM THE PAST

Last but not the least is the person from the past. This might range from your ball dates to old crushes to exes to current significant others. This person you’ve known since way back. While college is a new environment this person represents your old life style. You may have lost the feelings only to have them uncomfortably resurface or you may be seeing this person in a whole new light. Either way this person is the safest choice so naturally the answers are easy. At least it seems that way.

(It’s okay to have a significant other and a happy crush so long as you NEVER EVER act on it. EVER)

The person from the past will always bring back the old memories. It’s running away more than looking ahead. Although at the same time it could also represent a brand new look on the previous years. My advice, unless that you are absolutely sure it’ll work out this time, move on.

Having crushes is a part of growing up. It’s not really something totally avoidable. Just remember to look before you leap. Although some people say that you’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the things you did, you’ll have to realize that you will wish you hadn’t done certain things. But all in all college is a journey, so you might as well enjoy the trip.

Also if your Block crush, EnLit crush, org crush and past crush are all the same person -- make more friends. Seriously.

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Carlos Tabunda is just another BFA CW sophomore who enjoys reading and thinking about life. You might recognize him as the tall dark guy with a bad haircut who talks too loud and too much.