Three Things You Need to Relearn Now That You're in College (!) by Benny G. Tañedo

If you are reading this right now, then congratulations! You’ve successfully allotted enough attention to stay on a webpage that isn’t a social networking site, 9gag, or one of those fascinating You-sites. It’s quite a noble thing to do, really, to answer the resounding call for the betterment of the self; and what better way than through reading! You should be proud of yourself, SOH dude/dudette – your kind is what the world needs now more than ever.

Oh, and you made it to college. No, I’m dead serious with this part: literally thousands of other people–not really any different from you–had to deal with not seeing their name on that list. But your name was there, and now you need to follow through on it. Now you’re here, sitting in front of this computer screen, brushing up on the ins and outs of this excitingly endless rabbit hole.

So what does wonderland have in store for you? Well duh, learning – and lots of it. Then there are the not-so obvious things, which is why you’re reading my article. In college you will be programmed to unlearn, or for some cases, relearn. From your very first day, your perceptions will change when it comes to…

3.) Stereotypes

In college, you’re given the rare opportunity to start over with just about everything. Y’know, clean slate. Untainted reputation. Past is past and all that jazz. That much you’re entitled to, no matter where you’re from. Sounds good, huh? Well, it is! And it should be – who would want to be defined by their past, right?

Somehow, we still fall short on that last part though. It can’t be helped sometimes: we have some good ol’ socially-constructed prejudice inside of us just waiting to be turned into words. Oh, you’re from THAT school? Do u spik ingrish? Okay, this is becoming too painful for me to type out.

Anyway, that’s the harsh reality. Do you want to be a part of that harsh reality? Wait a minute, yeah, you already are. So why not do your part in making it, I dunno, a little less harsh? For one, you can treat others like they genuinely deserve their new, clean slates, and that makes you eligible for the same treatment; especially since you’re all freshmen here. Sure, that sounded like a clever rehash of the Golden Rule, but, quite frankly… uh, fine, it was.

But it makes sense. If you think about it, these stereotypes are rooted in the so-called cliquish culture (think Mean Girls). Do you want your college narrative to be a real-life rendition of Mean Girls? Okay, maybe that wasn’t the right question. But, seriously, I’m telling you now, cliquishness will be your downfall. There are like 2000 people in your batch, and if you’ll limit yourself to who’s familiar, then you’ll be missing out. A lot.

But what about the social ladder? Well, what about it? Just because it (sadly enough) seems to be there doesn’t mean that you should acknowledge it. I personally see it as a ghost from high school: something that haunts your mind from time to time, but in the end is imaginary. That thing won’t work in college – not in this school, bro.

2.) The comfort of certainty

I’m sure you’ve heard this before. College is full of surprises! Bring an umbrella! While that second line is still a highly debatable topic between people from the ~cool~ strata, I can wholeheartedly attest to the first claim.

The thing is, no matter what course you’re getting yourself into, you literally have no idea what exactly you’ll be getting into. Sure, you have your classes, your schedules, your orgs. At best, they are there to give you a sense of structure in the otherwise chaotic mess known as life. Seriously though, nothing can and will prepare you for the landslide of events, yolo-driven or not.

For the people (like me) who have been raised with a tightly scheduled, eight hours all day errday education, there is absolutely no comfort here. Anything can happen, and y’know, for us it sucks to not have control. High school got us used to arrangement and predictability, but college has scarcely any of that. It has the bear minimum, as I mentioned a while ago: your schedule, your course. Everything else, well, you can just shrug your shoulders and make a face.

Believe me though when I say that there is comfort, still, in not knowing. For one thing, you’re no better off than the person next to you – college will be equally uncertain to you both. Then of course, there’s that pleasantness that comes with surprise. Uhm, I don’t think I should explain that any further. It should be 1) self-explanatory and 2) a surprise! Duh.

College still proves to be one hell of a rollercoaster ride, no less cray than high school’s own ride. And while we’re on that topic…

1.) “High school was the [superlative adjective here] four years of my life!”

They say that high school will be the best four years of your life. Obviously, people who say that never made it to college.

Just kidding. I honestly don’t know why my titos and parents keep on insisting on this (maybe I need to attend the homecomings?), but I still can’t tell for sure. Don’t get me wrong – high school was amazing, and I’d gladly go through it all again–stupid mistakes included–just for the experience. It’s a memory I’ll cherish up to my deathbed, where either my closest friends or I will die unexpectedly from all the laughing.

But I can’t just forget what’s in front of me now – college is the here and the now, and there are no sweet hereafters. Well, none that are certain anyway. And like I said earlier, would you want your life to be defined by what has been? Why not focus every last iota of your humanities into what is? Having this fresh chapter that is college, you essentially own so much potential just seething through your veins, awaiting your life-giving touch – and I’m not just speaking on behalf of the artists here.

So far, college has been its own brand of amazeballs. I can’t properly compare it to high school since it’s 1) not yet done and 2) it’s a different level altogether. But I can’t just box high school as ‘the best’ either when I still have three years of college to go. On the other hand, you, dear freshie, have the entire canvas in front of you. Please go make something out of it. It’s yours, entirely.

Back in third year high school, I asked an upperclassman for some tips on prom. He told me, “Prom is what you make it.” How does this fit into what you’re reading? Well, let me be cheap and juxtapose what he just said into my own message: After all that you’ve read (and more), you should probably know by now – college is what you make it.

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Benny Tañedo, 18, is a sophomore taking up philosophy. If he's not busy with World of Warcraft, then he's prolly sipping coffee on campus. He secretly wants to be an astrophysicist, but as of now he needs to deal with his slight obsession with the power of words.

Why Being A Student Athlete Is Worth It by Lexine Uy

There’s this general stereotype that when someone is good at studying, it makes him/her a nerd and when someone is a good athlete, it makes him/her a jock. Leave it to the Ateneo to create the perfect balanced hybrid of these two: the student athlete. Maybe back in high school, the athletes in your school were the all-practice no-study types. But in college, being a student athlete is different; especially in a university like the Ateneo. For one, the work load is a lot heavier, you actually have to really study now, and all those papers aren’t going to write themselves. 

You see all these amazing athletes such as Kiefer Ravena, Chris Tiu, or Fille Cainglet sweating it out playing for Ateneo, but few people actually consider what they have to go through in order to find the perfect balance between their academics and insane practice hours. The life of juggling academics, athletics, and social life is definitely not an easy one, and maybe it’s not for everyone. This isn’t a how-to article, but actually a list of perks. Not that you should become a student athlete for the perks, I mean, after all, being one takes hardcore determination and dedication, but… yes, if you overlook the crazy schedule and possible lack of sleep, the perks are awesome. 

• The Teammates

Being part of a sports team with people who share the same love and passion for the same sport as you do is one of the most awesome feelings in the world. If you’re a freshman, then congratulations, you automatically gain “guides” for the rest of your freshmen year. Your upperclassmen teammates are definitely more experienced than you in college life as a student athlete, and if you become close with them, you’ll learn more tips than you ever will by attending InTACT classes. Also, your smart and kind teammates will save you a lot of money if ever you need tutoring for a subject or class. 

• Exemption from PE 

Yeah, you read that right. No more sweating it out in the Covered Courts with a PE subject you totally didn’t like but had to take because it ran out of slots, no more big bag you have to lug around because your PE got wedged in between two classes and you can’t go home after, and for certain PE subjects, no more jogging around campus at inhumane hours— either early, early morning or underneath the sun. 

• Exemption from NSTP 

Technically, you still have to do NSTP— it’s for the country, guys— but instead of five hours for every godforsaken week of the rest of your semester… you only have to do like, thirteen, which is actually a pretty short amount of time in comparison with the former. 

• Welcome to the study hall

The study hall is a place where athletes hang out, chill in the air-conditioned haven, or especially in the case of scholar student athletes, study. This is just like the library, except athletes only, you say. No, it’s not. The study hall alone should motivate you to try out for a sport you love, and you know why? Because someone will always be there to help you out with whatever problems you encounter while you’re studying. Because you might get to study in the presence of some athlete you’ve been idolizing/crushing on ever since. But most importantly, there’s free printing. Hello, papers that wasted too much of my money for printing ink.   

• Athlete events

Athlete orientation, Ateneo cheer rally, Athlete’s Night, you name it. This is practically paradise for all those fanboys and fangirls out there. Maybe you’ll get to see your favorite volleyball player at one of these events, maybe you’ll even accidentally rub shoulders with them, who knows? Some advice: act cool. Even if it’s Gretchen Ho standing in front of you and you’d regret it for the rest of your life if you don’t take a picture with her and/or get her autograph, play it cool— you’re all athletes.   

• You get to represent the Ateneo. 

‘Nuff said.   

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Lexine, 2 AB Literature-English, is a student-athlete. When not training, she is spreading the milk tea madness.

The six crushes you get in freshman year. by Carlos Tabunda

Hello freshmen. I welcome you all to the first of many years you’re about to spend in this awesome school. Many people are going to tell you how to spend your first year. Hang out in zen garden, bond with your block; join orgs. Many will talk about the core classes you will take and the future profs to look out for. Others will talk about another important expect of college life -- the drama. If you went through high school as a monk or nun then I’m sorry to say that is not happening here (unless you are truly an asexual being.) You are bound to have at least one crush here in college, especially in freshman year where everything is supposed to be safe and new and you want  to explore. In fact most of you won’t have just one crush but many, many crushes. These crushes can range from the happy crush to the serious infatuation kind. You’ll get crushes everywhere and in many different ways. I am here to lead you through the six most basic crush types here in the Ateneo De Manila University.

THE BLOCKMATE

All of your TnTs and upperclassmen will tell you one thing about blocks. “Never fall for a blockmate.” Most of you will not listen. I mean why wouldn’t you fall for a blockmate? This is a new and strange environment. A blockmate is the safest choice after all.

Now let me be the voice of reason. Personally I advise against falling for a blockmate. It creates unnecessary drama, awkwardness and if a break-up happens the splitting of the block. On the other hand if the feeling is mutual, a block relationship might work. I have two blockmates who are together and it’s not as awkward as most people think. You’re going to spend the next few years with these people, especially in FA courses, so it’s to be expected you’ll attached.

What happens if you break-up? Won’t that make it awkward? Let me ask you something: Are you really going to get into a relationship, with a blockmate, expecting to break-up? If you think that the relationship will end badly and that you don’t want that then don’t pursue it.

So long block relationships? Risky but okay as long as you’re sure what you’re getting into. Remember that a relationship is commitment. Don’t get into one for the sake of it. Get out there more, be active in orgs; meet new people. Don’t restrict yourself to just blockmates.

THE ENLIT CLASSMATE

As you’re about to realize, your EnLit classmate will be just like your block for freshman year. There are some differences of course. First, a lot of your classmates will come from different schools. You’ll also feel less guilty when daydreaming about how attractive they may or may not be. Moreover, since you pretty much dissolve after a year the drama is significantly less. But remember that the closeness of an EnLit class is dependent on the prof and the people that jive together so be careful.

One of the major disadvantages to the EnLit classmate crush is group projects. Have you ever tried writing a memoir or feature article or being a lead in a play as your crush watches and judges you? Awkward. It’s a great bonus if you’re a suave speaker who can look cool while talking about current events about nation building. Just make sure to never debate with your crush. Ever. You will lose horribly or feel very bad about winning.

My advice for the EnLit classmate is: go lang. Worst case scenario is that you get rejected. But anyway, you move on because you might not even see other again. This doesn’t count of course if this person is your EnLit classmate AND your blockmate. Do you really want to make things twice as awkward?

THE ORGMATE

Okay, this is your org. Since you’re a freshie it’s probably the third, fourth or fifth you’ve joined. This is the one you’re active in though. It’s the one that passed the application (if there was an app process) and wowed you at the GA. This is gonna be your org. You join a committee, meet the peeps and you join projects and meet new people.

There’s one special person in particular. One who likes the org as much as you do and seems to share so much in common with you. You are now super active in this org. You try as much as possible to see this person through this org. Eventually you start spending time together outside of this org. Then bam, momoling!

Just kidding. Let me be the first to say that seminars = drinkspartymomolstuffhappens. In terms of crushes orgmates have the smallest chance of exploding in your face. Whether or not you pursue this crush there are many opportunities do to whatever you want. Be active in orgs kids, stuff happens, you might even get lucky. (or make a huge mistake but that’s not another story) Although if your org crush, EnLit crush and block crush are the same person then you have a problem.

THAT PERSON YOU KNOW BUT HAVEN’T MET YET

They’re in your orgs, you go to the same events and you’ve got like a hundred or so mutual friends but you’ve never had a single conversation with this person. There will be many cases like this all throughout your college life. All these people you’ve only heard of through stories. I know of a case of two people who are in an org CB together but have never been formally introduced.

In some cases this person becomes so interesting yet so mysterious they become a sort-of-crush thing. I mean you really never get to know this person but you just really want to for some reason. These crushes normally aren’t serious and are formed more out of a desire to get to know this person rather than have intimate relations with.

This strange obsession might get weird like you’ll start stalking them and asking about them through mutual friends. It is not that weird. A lot of people will have to go through this.  Although, you should probably worry when you start spending too long on their Bora pics.

THE UPPERCLASSMAN

Yikes. Issue to. The circumstances of how you met this person be it coursemate, org mate or someone you knew way back is unimportant. What’s important is that they’re experienced and they always sound like they know what they’re talking about. (Although to be fair they usually do.) Coursemates are always there to teach you about the curriculum and org mates know all the in jokes and people to talk to.

Naturally you’ll be drawn to this powerful authority figure. Before you do anything learn the difference between infatuation and admiration. It might seem like a crush but really you could just really like the way they make art or seem so cool in the org or manage the comprehensive org systems.

If you really wanna go for it then just think first. Upperclassmen always seem cooler or scarier than they actually are. Take them out of the pedestal first. Don’t think of them as an experienced mentor but as a peer. Think of them as a coursemate or org mate or classmate. Think of them as a human being. If you still wanna go for it then have fun. Especially if that upperclassman turns out to be me. Just kidding.

THE PERSON FROM THE PAST

Last but not the least is the person from the past. This might range from your ball dates to old crushes to exes to current significant others. This person you’ve known since way back. While college is a new environment this person represents your old life style. You may have lost the feelings only to have them uncomfortably resurface or you may be seeing this person in a whole new light. Either way this person is the safest choice so naturally the answers are easy. At least it seems that way.

(It’s okay to have a significant other and a happy crush so long as you NEVER EVER act on it. EVER)

The person from the past will always bring back the old memories. It’s running away more than looking ahead. Although at the same time it could also represent a brand new look on the previous years. My advice, unless that you are absolutely sure it’ll work out this time, move on.

Having crushes is a part of growing up. It’s not really something totally avoidable. Just remember to look before you leap. Although some people say that you’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the things you did, you’ll have to realize that you will wish you hadn’t done certain things. But all in all college is a journey, so you might as well enjoy the trip.

Also if your Block crush, EnLit crush, org crush and past crush are all the same person -- make more friends. Seriously.

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Carlos Tabunda is just another BFA CW sophomore who enjoys reading and thinking about life. You might recognize him as the tall dark guy with a bad haircut who talks too loud and too much.

Stereotypes by Monica Pontejos

Hipsters, good-for-nothing Ateneans, future beggars of the Philippines, ang mga pasang-awa, and a directionless-bunch-of-students-who-are-in-college-for-the-sake-of-being-in-college: these are the overruling stereotypes against the School of Humanities students of the Ateneo; and taking it from the abovementioned labels, you could probably already tell that of all four schools, we are, what others would consider, “the underdogs”. As much as we are highly extolled for our exceptional artistic abilities, such as writing, drawing, graphic design, acting, singing, and everything else in between; we, in turn, are undermined for our relatively “dull” minds. If we are looking at a true-to-life scenario here, then one probably would not approach a School of Humanities student in the hope of disentangling out-of-this-world mathematical equations. Get the picture?

Prior to entering the Ateneo, I was utterly clueless on the stereotypes there were for each of the four schools — in all honesty; I didn’t even know (or rather, care) how many other schools existed. I deliberately chose to take up AB Interdisciplinary Studies because I felt that it was the closest thing I had to being a double major; as my block mates would say, to be an AB IS major is to have the “best of both worlds”. Know that I desired AB IS because I knew I would seek happiness in pursuing my interests in college. However, when I stepped into the university, I gradually came to realize that my course is notorious for:

• Being the athlete’s cop-out from taking up the most difficult of subjects
• The lost souls with no final destination in mind
• An easy course to get into, and is therefore your easy pass to becoming blue-blooded

In a nutshell, AB IS, or almost every course under the School of Humanities at that, is often perceived to be everything but prestigious and hopeful. So yes, deem me credible enough to be writing about stereotypes because if anything, I certainly know what it feels like to be labeled. 

I mean, who wouldn’t feel uneasy knowing that their future rests in and uncertainty all thanks to their college degree? We all want to be Bill Gates, swimming in pool of money. But every now and then, Jessie J knocks on my brain, and reminds me that it’s not about the money.

A few days ago, a friend told me, “They say it’s not about the money; but it is,” for a moment, I felt the need to agree with her as I envisioned a future me, begging on the streets, living on scraps of food; but then I said, “No, it’s not; because money can’t buy you happiness.” (Thank you, Jessie J. I still took those words from your song.)

More often than not, life is about what makes you happy. I’m not too sure about you but I would rather be a middle-class citizen of New York, transforming my innermost thoughts into words and sharing my passion with the world; than be filthy rich, sitting on a desk all day, talking to a piece of paper with a nonsensical Mathematical equation jotted on it, and telling it, “Go solve yourself.” As a BFA Creative Writing major, who also happens to be my friend, once tweeted, “It’s one thing to calculate figures using formulas, and it’s another to create an entire world.”

So stereotypes? Please, forget them. Because the only way to combat a stereotype is not to come up with even harsher words, but to prove to them that they have misjudged you. Completely.

 It’s not about belonging to a course beginning with the letters “AB” or “BFA” when others tell you it should not be so. Infuse your faith in the truth that wherever you are now, you are meant to be there; and know that no one can ever make you feel inferior without your consent. 

You are an artist, so live up to that title and dream BIG.

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Monica Pontejos is an AB Interdisciplinary Studies major in her second year, with tracks in Psychology and Management.

I Have No Idea What I Am Doing: A Manifesto by AJ Elicaño

It’s Time

Entering college as a freshman can be surreal. It hasn’t been half a year since you were a high school senior, ruling the roost of whatever school you’ve called home for these past four years. And now you’re just another wide-eyed freshman in an eight-thousand-strong sea of people that’s new and wondrous and way too big. It’s a fresh start, sure, but sometimes, you maybe wish it weren’t quite so fresh because you’ve now got no idea where to begin.  

And then there are all these big names on campus. You know the type—the legends, the superstars, the ones who do everything and seem like they have it all figured out. When I was a freshman, it was people like Gio Tingson, our Sanggunian President who worked with the Student Councils’ Alliance of the Philippines, and Chris Tiu, a basketball player for the Ateneo Blue Eagles who was also a double-major in BS ME and BSM AMF. You look at these people, and you know you’re never going to figure out how they got to where they are, and so the idea of trying to make the most of your own college life starts to look a little more intimidating.

Hence the question—just what are you planning on doing with the next four years?

It is at this point that I feel I owe any freshmen out there a bit of an apology. Four years after my OrSem, I find myself seemingly becoming that same kind of person I thought I’d never be. People actually know who I am, or at least what I do. Under duress, torture, or the influence of alcohol, I will sometimes even admit that I’ve managed to make a reputation for myself.

I don’t really believe any of this, of course. In my head, I’m still this awkward kid from the Ateneo High School who stumbled his way into a few great opportunities, was asked to do amazing work with amazing people, and got some fancy titles out of it. One thing led to another, but I’m really just this guy, you know? I’m this guy who asked himself who he was and kept on asking, like any other freshman, and after four years of searching and struggling came up with this working definition:

I’m AJ Elicaño, 5 BFA Creative Writing/AB Interdisciplinary Studies. I’m the President of WriterSkill, the Secretary-General of the Sanggunian, and the VP for Secretariat of IgnITE. I have a part-time job in the Ateneo Grade School, work with the League of Independent Organizations, and spent this past summer teaching with Alay Ni Ignacio. I write and submit to literary publications regularly, maintain decent grades, and still have time for naps, comics, and something resembling a social life.

And I have no idea what I am doing.

Living Louder

Choosing an arts course means dealing with a lot of questions. “Will you learn anything useful?” “Are you going to get a job?” “Why didn’t you pick something practical?” And we cope in many ways—laughing it off, defending what we love to do, shrugging and saying, “Trip ko lang.”

Me, I wanted to prove them all wrong—my father who thought that BFA CW could only lead to a job as a spin doctor, my friends who joked that I’d never make any money, my high school class of future doctors and businessmen who thought I was “too smart” for the School of Humanities. I told a councilor that I “wanted to do something great for SOH,” even though I had no idea what that might be, because I loved it and was sick of feeling like both it and I were perpetually under siege.

So when I got asked to run for student council, as a Central Board Representative for my SOH batchmates, it was that desire, weighing against all common sense and reason, that drove me to give it a shot. I’d never been a student leader, but if I could fight to get the School of Humanities the respect and the voice it deserved, then why the hell not?

Inexplicably, I won that election. And over the next three years, everything else fell into place like cascading dominoes. I chose to work with independent orgs in Sanggu, because all the SOH orgs were unaccredited, and from there I helped form the League of Independent Organizations. I won the next election, and the next, and the next. I grew to realize that Sanggu needed to focus more on student empowerment, and so I left my old political party and helped found IgnITE, the Ignatian Initiative for Transformative Empowerment.

And I met the founders of WriterSkill. During my first run, they’d been unknown Creative Writing juniors who wanted to create a place where anyone could write, express themselves, and learn to get better. They weren’t perfect, but they had a vision, one that resonated with me. Over the years, the org became my home in college, my insane, geeky, eternally accepting family of writers—many of whom who weren’t even in SOH, let alone CW—and it was my love for it that pushed me to run for President, even as my unopposed campaign for Sanggu Secretary-General was wrapping up.

Looking back, it all seems a little incredible, the road I’ve walked to get to where I am. And it may seem unbelievable to think that I might have done all this without having somehow figured my life out in a way that no normal person could stumble upon. A friend once told me that I had to have a plan, because otherwise, the amount of work I was doing was nothing short of foolhardy.

Wordplay

The French philosopher Paul Ricoeur says that every meaningful action can be read as text. This includes the act of writing, yes, but also the act of living, and of trying to determine who you are. To live your life and shape your identity is to tell your story, and living sincerely means making sure that the story is well-written. It means being consistent, it means knowing what you’re doing, it means Having A Plan and it means Sticking To It.

Conversely, the American writer Joan Didion, in her essay “The White Album,” says this of storytelling:

We tell ourselves stories in order to live. The princess is caged in the consulate. The man with the candy will lead the children into the sea. The naked woman on the ledge outside the window on the sixteenth floor is a victim of accidie, or the naked woman is an exhibitionist, and it would be “interesting” to know which…. We look for the sermon in the suicide, for the social or moral lesson in the murder of five. We interpret what we see, select the most workable of the multiple choices. We live entirely, especially if we are writers, by the imposition of a narrative line upon disparate images, by the “ideas” with which we have learned to freeze the shifting phantasmagoria which is our actual experience.

Where Ricoeur sees stories as the way to ensure that we lead ordered, meaningful lives, Didion sees them as life preservers, keeping our heads above water in lives that are by nature disordered and absurd. This, then, is the question which they both pose any writer:

Is your story about making your life, or about surviving it?

Whomever you believe, though, one thing on which Ricoeur and Didion would agree is this: “you” matter. Storytelling, whether you have a plan or not, whether you write to create or simply to endure, depends upon knowing who you are and what matters to you—or at least upon being willing to ask the question, and to keep asking it. The storyteller who cares about who he is will care about what kind of story he wants to tell; the storyteller for whom it does not matter will likewise tell stories that do not matter, and where’s the point in that?

Here I Am Alive

When people ask me how I do the things I do, I can never come up with a satisfactory answer. I tell them I’m good at cramming, I tell them I rely on great teams, I tell them I’m just lucky.

When I’m asked why, though, the answers come more easily. I’m passionate about writing, about stories that get people thinking. I want to give people the tools they need to make things happen. I want to help people believe in themselves, all the artists and nerds and outcasts who are told to shut up, stand in single file, and stop daydreaming about changing the world.

My college life has followed no script, no plan, no single guiding principle, except for this: what I care about. Every choice, every title and commitment, everything from taking Creative Writing to trying to be both an org president and a Sanggu officer at the same time, has come about because I asked myself something.

“What do you love?” 

That’s it. No master scheme, no grand design for greatness, just someone trying to make a meaningful story out of the cascading domino chaos of his college life. I started out as a confused freshman who knew nothing except what he cared about and what he wanted to do, and so I began there, with nothing else. Fr. Pedro Arrupe, SJ says that nothing is more practical than finding love—“fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything.” So I took a chance on what I loved, on writing and empowerment and service and belief, and it is that that decided everything for me.

I’m AJ Elicaño, supersenior double-major, org president, Sanggu officer, political party VP, part-time teacher, writer, nerd, student, friend—and I’m also just this guy, one out of eight thousand fellow Ateneans, the same guy who wanted to do something good without having the slightest idea of how to do it. And it is because of being that guy, not in spite of it, that I am everything else.

Any story worth telling begins in chaos—the darkness before Genesis, the fire of the Big Bang, the disorientation of freshman year. It is in that nothingness, in not having even the slightest clue, that you most clearly remember what you love. And from there, you can begin to create, to endure, to put one foot in front of the other on the road that will lead you to a life that you’ll find meaningful.

Welcome to the beginning, freshmen. You probably have no idea what you’re doing, and that’s okay. Go write your story.

The SOH Vibes by Bianca Ishbelle Bongato

What comes to mind when one thinks of a SOH student? Passionate, creative, quirky, fun, witty, nerdy/geeky…maybe even a little hipster? Although one must always be careful not to stereotype, it also cannot be denied that SOH students have certain SOH vibes—but what kind of vibes?

You know you’re a SOH Student if…

1. You have a weird sense of humor. 

And sometimes, people won’t understand it—they might even think you’re crazy. If you find people who share and understand your sense of humor, TREASURE these friends. (Yes, block mates, I’m looking at you)

2. Random musings quickly turn into existential thoughts. 

Example: It’s when you’re eating lunch with your friends and you suddenly think, “Why do I keep eating? Is eating all there is to living? What is the purpose of our human existence? Surely, we weren’t created just to sleep, eat, and drink? Then what is? Like, it just makes you wonder about the state of things…” 

“Oh my God, just let us eat our lunch!” 

Philosophical discussions at JSEC in broad daylight, anyone?

3. The brain goes numb during Math class. (zzzzzzz)

4. When your Math prof suddenly talks of word problems and/or asks the class to write an essay on what you learned in math, you and your block mates rejoice. 

Maybe, if you blow your prof away with your verbose nonsense, he/she will forget how bad you are with numbers and give you a passing grade? Oh yes. 

5. Secretly crying over books and TV shows—and sometimes, not so secretly. (Your favorite characters have ruined your life, be it in Doctor Who, Legend of Korra, Adventure Time, etc.). You can’t help it. You feel for your characters and their stories. You ship your OTPs. You cry and laugh with these characters. You are too emotionally invested in these shows than most people, because these stories are just so real to you. And you can’t help but livetweet your feelings for the whole Twitter world to see. 

6. Yes, you secretly doodle during class or make up stories in your head just for fun. 

7. Midnight onwards—you’re lying in bed and suddenly, you have this urge to get creative (whether it’s drawing, designing, writing fiction, or blogging your thoughts out). Welcome to the life of the restless artist!

8. You never have just a thought—you have a string of thoughts, sub-thoughts, and thoughts that stem from sub-thoughts. 

9. Admit it—you also like to people watch. 

10. Fueled by creativity and passion, one cannot help but be idealistic, as well. You also struggle to balance this with a healthy sense of realism. 

Disclaimer: This does not necessarily reflect the traits of all SOH students. This doesn’t imply that only SOH students are like this, either. Rather, it is just based on personal experiences and observations—with added humor for effect. 

With that being said: More power to SOH!

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Bianca Ishbelle Bongato, 17, is an AB Literature (English) sophomore at the Ateneo de Manila University. 

The Artist's Struggle by Bianca Ishbelle Bongato

I don’t know about you guys, but self-doubt was never really an issue for me…until freshman year at the Ateneo, that is. Being placed out of a relatively small, all-girls Catholic school and suddenly immersed in a university brimming with idealistic/passionate/talented/brilliant peers, knowledgeable and legendary professors, and a diversity of personalities, ideas, talents, and skills made me realize quite a lot of things about myself and about others. It was both a humbling and inspiring experience, but admittedly, it wasn’t easy for a SOH student like me. All I had was my high school diploma and my course—AB Literature—as my one-way ticket to helping me become a better writer with better chances. Although my idealism was the very thing that got me here, something else threatened to take place and control my thoughts/actions—and it was that of self-doubt.

Ah, yes. Self-doubt—often the artist’s worst enemy and constant companion. It can come in waves, thought bubbles, and it can even be unknowingly etched in the subconscious of our minds—this voice that brings us down before we can even try to succeed, this voice that downplays every success and triumph, and this voice that seems to emphasize even the smallest setbacks and shortcomings as an artist struggles in the art of something. 

Though I never fully acknowledged its presence, I knew “it” was there—this nagging feeling that I couldn’t seem to shake off. It manifested itself in the smallest ways. There were those pesky Math classes I was still required to take and struggled to pass, those classes that I excelled at in high school but ended up getting mediocre/averages grades in during my first year here. There were papers to write for Filipino, in which I pretentiously thought I could get an A by impressing my professor with the superfluity of my flowery words, verbose style, and “poetic” prose—only to end up with something like a C or a C+ on the first draft (one that admittedly hurt my ego). And those articles you see on Yahoo! don’t help, either (“Subjects You Shouldn’t Let Your Kids Major In”—in which Humanities courses would be listed). 

I remember one particular class in which I was listening to my professor talk about the literature in the Philippines from the precolonial to contemporary times—and although I can’t remember what question he asked, I do remember this one classmate who raised his hand (for what seemed like the nth time) and said—all in one breath--“Maybe it implies the phallocentric ideology of society back then, as well as the attempts in justifying imperialism and the continued existence of neocolonialism,” and I just sort of stared at the blackboard in front of me, letting the words sink in (when in truth, all I could think of was, “BIG WORDS BIG WORDS BIG WORDS I DON’T UNDERSTAND…” “Phallo-WHAT?” “God, I need to Google these words when I get home later…”)

I know of people who can write, sing, dance, act, and speak more than two languages—and they’re not even in SOH. I remember my seatmate in Math class who sketched so well, who practically doodled Magnum Opuses while the teacher talked about functions and graphs, and she modestly said that it was just a hobby for her. Just one look at other people’s blogs, Heights folios, and The GuidOn articles (with the headlines: 7 Ateneans win the prestigious Palanca Award) would be enough to trigger self-doubt (and of course, the huge waves of admiration and awe). Sure, my friends and I would often joke and say, “BUT HOW DO U WERD,” “NOT WORTHY,” and “HOW DO U WRITER,” but if it were not for the jokes, I would have felt much more worried. I seriously started to sit down and think, over and over again: Is this really what I want? Is this really where I’m meant to be? (How cliché, I admit—but it was necessary to ask.)

Many people I know are brilliant and prolific writers, and I knew they only looked at it as a hobby—and even this started to discomfort me just a little. In my case, writing was almost my everything (not to be melodramatic about it…but it’s true). Writing was and is the constant in my life. While I changed as a person, while my interests changed, while I lost interest in some hobbies, writing never got boring for me, and writing was never just a hobby. Realizing how much I depended on this and how I unknowingly made it the foundation of my life (and the direction of my future) scared me. I had invested a lot in this. Was it worth it, I wondered? 

At the end of it all, I can still wholeheartedly tell you: yes. 

Knowing that I struggled with self-doubt made me realize something. Caring deeply about your art makes you vulnerable to it. It makes you very sensitive, very passionate, and so deeply involved with it. Once in a while, you will probably find yourself questioning your motives and entertaining second thoughts about your course and career plans—and if you find yourself doing this, know that others in the past have felt this way, too, and yet they still chose to push through, they still chose to struggle. Being SOH students and artists—being human with goals and ambitions--it’s natural to feel this way. 

Art as a whole is a struggle. The reason why art exists and why it has survived throughout the centuries is because it struggled to do so, and it persists, as it always resurfaces. Even if it does not appear to have a practical purpose, it still lives because humans have attached value to it. It feeds our soul. It’s what keeps humanity going, and as humanity struggles, art is born, and in turn, art shows us that we are struggling. Our art is our ideals, and we’re all trying to reach for it. Whatever our art may be—singing, dancing, acting, writing, drawing, designing, etc.—the fact is, we are all struggling. We are all novices in our art, something of which no one has fully mastered. The goal is not be the best, but to be good enough, to contribute something, and maybe change someone’s perspective with something you thought and created. 

  When you attempt to make art, there will always be struggle and a hint of imperfection, but it is that same struggle that makes art beautiful—and there also lies the art of struggle, and the struggle in art. Even as I write this article, reread it, and edit over and over, I admit that I struggle in the art of prose, and that’s okay, because art is not something you can easily capture—it is the result of different attempts, and I hope that through this, I am able to get my point across with what I’m writing by telling you that’s it’s okay to doubt yourself, but it’s never okay to let your doubts stop you from pursuing your art. Every artist will struggle, but struggle is also a sign that you’re climbing. If ever you feel inadequate or inferior, turn it around and use everything as inspiration instead of getting discouraged. 

Despite everything, I still encourage you to struggle. Perhaps this is the most beautiful thing about it—our attempts to perfect, our attempts to capture, our attempts to embody something, to capture images and ideas even in the smallest ways despite self-doubt—is already an art in itself. Keep at it, anyway, and know that you’re not alone, because SOH students all struggle in their art at one point or another. 

There is struggle in our art, as there is art in our struggles. 

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Bianca Ishbelle Bongato, 17, is an AB Literature (English) sophomore at the Ateneo de Manila University. 

Co-Ed Problems by Monica Pontejos

#CoEdProblems

Is probably a hashtag you could not righteously use in high school simply because you spent what could be more than half of your life in a school full of either girls or boys, with the exception of janitors/janitress’, food vendors, guards, and whatnot. 

So allow me to assume that you, my friend, probably don’t know what it’s like to:

• Have your crush or your boyfriend/girlfriend linger on the same grounds as you for approximately eight hours every day (sounds heavenly, I know), and consequently, compensate for those eight hours of wishful thinking stalking him/her on Facebook
• Be grouped with Mr./Ms. Crush for a school project and accidentally (or purposely, for the more daring souls) touch his/her hand when you asked him/her to pass the scissors
• Discreetly ask for pads from girl classmates because the last thing you want are the guys flipping out when they hear you say, “Do you have a napkin?”
• Spend every minute in front of the mirror in the morning, making certain that every strand of hair is in place for Mr./Ms. Crush, before your mom finally screams, “Let’s go! You’re going to be late.”
• Have no need to daydream because dream boy/dream girl could be just a few seats or classrooms away from you
• See people PDA on campus

And the list goes on.

Hailing from a private grade school and high school exclusive for girls, I certainly do not know what it is like to be the girl above; the sad fact is, the closest encounters I ever really had to the male species back in high school were soirees, my tennis coaches, prom and sophomore night, review classes, and of course, my male relatives; this is exactly why even the mere thought of college — or boys, to be precise — always had me breeding butterflies in my stomach. 

There were days during the summer before freshman year my best friend and I would chat on Facebook and freak out at the mere thought of interacting with the opposite sex everyday, after spending what we considered were “years in captivity”. I thought conversing with boys would be intensely draining because I would constantly need to find common ground between the two of us (and I didn’t, and still don’t, play video games so what the heck would there be to talk about, right?), I thought they would turn out to be terrible group mates and abandon me for NBA 2K13 the moment I ask them for their contribution in the group, I thought that approximately 85% of boys were douchebags with cold hearts who knew more about leading girls on than anything associated with the sciences; and having said that, I had a tendency to undermine the intellectual capabilities of men relative to women. I would not call myself a feminist, but as you can now tell, I sure was one to stereotype.

But boys, before you search me on Facebook and send me hate messages or threaten me with physical injury, please know that all my perceptions of boys turned out to be misconceptions.

And I thank college for helping me see that.

And the only way you will be able to realize what I have discovered in my freshman year in the Ateneo is if you boldly leap out of your comfort zone and put aside your awkward tendencies even just for a while, so that you could come home and proclaim to your parents, “I made a new friend today… and it was a boy.” 

I know I am quite the inexperienced one when it comes to boys, but with the help of some friends who also came from exclusive high schools, I have come up with a list on interacting with the opposite sex without freaking them out (this is applicable to boys too):

• Shy should not exist. Fear is often the only thing that gets in your way when it comes to grabbing new opportunities; so do not be afraid to make new friends because everyone is trying to get around too. –Mark, UST
• Be calm and be yourself. Just play it cool and don’t try to impress all the time. Girls don’t like guys who are cocky. Also, don’t think you’re “too cool to talk to anyone” or be the type who chooses people to converse with because both will not work out for you in the end. –Finina, UPD
• Be careful with what you say. Don’t say green jokes or curse a lot when you’re meeting someone new. It leaves a bad impression and you will repel people from you. Just try to seem approachable and easy to talk to. –Jap, UST
• Skill test. Coming from an all-boys school, knowing girls was the sign of how good you were with your social skills. Boys, don’t put too much pressure on yourselves because college will assure you of so many opportunities for that. Give them an impression that is entirely original and of yourself — know who you are and be confident about it. –Botan, UPD
• Boys are nicer than you think. Contrary to popular belief, boys are easy to talk to; and they are good at giving advice, especially when you have boy problems. –Bea, UST
• Boys in the group. It is recommended to have a guy in your “college barkada” because it brings in other perspectives, and you see how a guy’s mind works compared to that of a girl’s. Also, guys don’t like girls who are self-absorbed, so don’t talk about yourself too much. –Sam, DLSU
• School talk. It’s always good to start off with school talk. It can help build interests when it comes to education, and it will also help you find someone you can work with later on. Girls like guys who are intelligent but are not know-it-alls. In freshman year, everybody is just as scared as you are, and everybody wants to pass, so it would be good to help each other out. –Belle DLS-CSB
• Getting attention. If you want the attention of boys, don’t ask for it the wrong way; dress in a pleasing and respectable manner if you want to attract the right people. Also, focus on academics above all things and don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. –Alexis, DLSU
• Befriend acquaintances. In Ateneo, we have different classmates in almost every subject, so we don’t really get to know our classmates that well. If you see an acquaintance or a classmate, it would be good to smile at them when you see them around campus so that you could converse with them the next time around.  –Mike, ADMU
• Keep your options open. Don’t rush into relationships right away, and don’t limit your options early in the game because not every girl is the girl. Maybe in high school, making fun or teasing people was an acceptable way of having fun, but that may not be the case in college; so always be vigilant of what you say. Also, be a gentleman for others. –Gian, DLSU
• Expectations vs. Reality. Don’t believe everything you see in the movies. I assumed that there were only two types of guys: nice and douchebags. When I learned that there were more than just those two types, I got culture-shocked and I didn’t know how to deal with them exactly; so make sure to have the right mindset before meeting guys. Also, a lot of us girls believe that chivalry exists, but that’s not the case for all guys so be careful. –Dana, ADMU
• Viewing girls. Try to look at the girl you like as someone who is just a friend, because viewing a girl as a point of interest hinders you from understanding her more. If it gets awkward, use icebreakers. Always try to keep the conversation flowing. –Joey, ADMU

College may seem like a dark hole with no escape, but regardless of arduous schoolwork and requirements, four years from now, you could be saying that college is “the best thing that has ever happened to you”. Your soon-to-be-college life is simply what you make of it — you can claim to have had a terrible day because you walked back and forth from Bel to CTC while being drenched in the rain; but when all has been said and done, you could say that it was a.) a glimpse of hell on earth or b.) fun and a great experience you will never forget. Every sentiment from every experience will always come out as a choice, so take your pick.

Before I end, I wish you the best of luck, dearest freshmen! And welcome to the Ateneo! Every day is an adventure, so make it count 

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Monica Pontejos is an AB Interdisciplinary Studies major in her second year, with tracks in Psychology and Management.

Philosophy and Me by Marckie San Juan

I come from one of those science high schools—also, what for some may be the best one in the country. In a vacuum, Pisay should have been able to equip its graduates with a strong computer programming background, a science education leaps and bounds from its peers, a reading culture which involves the likes of William Golding, Chinua Achebe, and Lois Lowry—basically an awesome education. It prepares the student to excel in his/her chosen scientific field in university, and maybe explore graduate studies abroad, with the end-goal of taking and applying all this knowledge back to the Philippines, filling its need for scientists and engineers.
I’m not a hipster, in the cultural connotation of the word, but I was never part of this portrait, this plan. I realize that the effect of my Pisay education to me is wrapped in this analogy: The pole vaulter sees the bar he is about to leap over. What does he do? He looks at his pole, and he carefully discards it someplace safe. He then appreciates the fact that he had an opportunity to see the bar; thus, when the day of competition arrives, he is in no shape to compete. What he has, though, are stories and reflection about himself—his interaction and feelings as he saw the bar, laid high and mighty meters above his head.
The “bar” in this analogy is the culture of high education that is permeated and cultivated by Pisay. I have stories to tell about my interactions with classmates and professors who have both gone to the Americas, to Europe, to Singapore, to Japan, and to other parts of the world to further exemplify their already solid education.
Me? I’m “stuck” in the Philippines.
Also, I’m “stuck” in a mathematics course I didn’t really like, not knowing the equations written on the board in a Statistics course. By the time my professor exclaimed, “This shouldn’t be new to you! This was already taught to you! I should be the only one new here!,” I knew I wouldn’t be staying long in the status quo.
Enter philosophy. The summer term before I took that fateful Statistics course, I took two philosophy electives. I took them because a close friend was prodding me to shift to philosophy, and because all Ateneans get two electives of their choice in their four- or five-year stay in the University, I decided to give it a chance; at the very least, I thought, I would have experienced what it’s like.
Since I already didn’t like my course and wanted badly to do something with it, I shifted to that same philosophy course a semester after.
Now, coming from a science high school background, I have no idea, for instance, who Heidegger, Levinas, and Derrida are. I have heard of Plato and Aristotle, sure, but I don’t know what they said or thought about in their time. Ateneo’s mandatory philosophy and theology subjects—added upon by the two electives I chose—gives one an idea behind these legendary professors. Without this requirement, I doubt I would have shifted to this course I’m currently taking.
Thoughts of shifting from my math course were sporadically on my mind, but I always say I don’t know where to shift to. Ateneo gave me that destination, for sure. Those random times when I would just look at the wall and think about random things while my barber kept on playing with my hair? That’s philosophy.
Why? “Sapagkat ang pilosopiya ay ginagawa,” as one of the pillars of Ateneo philosophy likes to say. 

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Marckie San Juan is a fourth year philosophy major. He likes to read interesting blog posts in the Internet and to talk with friends over milk tea.