You are the rain
that cascades from the heavens
and creates dark muddy puddles
for people to slip on.
Your torrents bless the earth
with such a generous amount of water
that people’s windshields blur
and roadway wrecks increase.
Your gray skies are charming
and great sources of depression,
not to mention good fodder
for the latest break-up whine.
All in all, my dear,
you’re the best kind of weather.
Now excuse me while I go
and lock myself indoors.
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